How Do I Choose a Healthcare Power of Attorney? Ask Yourself These 5 Questions
“This person becomes your voice when you can’t speak for yourself, making critical medical decisions for you when you are no longer able.”
Choosing the Right Person to Make Medical Decisions for You
It may be even more important than picking a maid of honor or best man; choosing your healthcare power of attorney (HPOA) is a big decision. This is the person you are trusting to make sure your wishes are honored. This person becomes your voice when you can’t speak for yourself, making critical medical decisions for you when you are no longer able. But how do you decide who is the best person for this role? While it might feel overwhelming, breaking down this decision into key questions can help you choose the right person.
Why Your Healthcare Power of Attorney Choice Matters More Than You Think
Many people assume their spouse or oldest child should automatically become their HPOA, but this isn’t always the wisest choice. The wrong person can lead to decisions that don’t align with your values, they may choose what they want, rather than what you want, or yield to family members’ demands rather than honoring yours. These personal or family conflicts can erupt during critical moments, leading to devastating delays in care or unnecessary and painful procedures. I’ve witnessed countless loud and stressful family confrontations spilling out into the hallway in moments like these. Emotionally charged situations aren’t the best for making decisions, so figuring this out in advance will spare everyone from that possibility and ensure that you’re getting the care you deserve. Choosing the right person can give you peace of mind that your medical decisions will be made with your best interests in mind.
Five Key Questions to Ask Yourself When You Choose a Healthcare POA
1. Will this person respect my healthcare wishes, even if they disagree?
Choose a healthcare power of attorney who is able to set aside their personal beliefs and honor your medical choices, even if they disagree. Whether you prefer aggressive treatment or comfort-focused care, your HPOA should be someone who will advocate for your decisions without hesitation. The best HPOA will listen to your wishes, respect your values, and ensure that your preferences are followed, even if they differ from their own opinions.
2. Can they confidently advocate for me despite challenges?
The person you choose as your healthcare power of attorney should be strong-willed and confident when it comes to speaking for you, even when faced with resistance from family members, medical professionals, or the complexities of the healthcare system. They need to be comfortable seeking second opinions, asking tough questions, and standing firm to ensure you receive the care you want. The ideal person will navigate difficult conversations with ease, making sure your voice is heard and respected at all times.
3. Do they understand my medical conditions, treatment preferences, and the full scope of the role?
If you have a chronic illness or require complex medical care coordination, your healthcare POA should be familiar with your diagnosis, treatment options, and long-term care preferences. While they don’t need to be a medical expert, they should be willing to learn, ask questions, and advocate for your best interests. Additionally, they must understand the broader responsibilities of the role, including medical records management, care coordination, and potentially end-of-life care planning. The right person will take the time to understand your medical history and be prepared to act in your best interest when the time comes.
4. Can they communicate clearly and navigate family dynamics?
Medical decisions can be stressful, and your healthcare power of attorney may need to manage differing opinions among loved ones while staying focused on your wishes. They should be able to explain decisions clearly, prevent conflicts from escalating, and ensure that your choices remain the priority. A strong HPOA will balance assertiveness with diplomacy, keeping both your medical team and family informed while standing firm in the decisions they make on your behalf.
5. Are they available and willing to take on this responsibility?
Your healthcare POA should be easy to reach in an emergency and willing to take on the role. If they live far away or have commitments that could get in the way of them being there when you need it most, they may not be the best choice. This is a serious responsibility, so it’s important to choose someone who is not only capable but also ready to take on the role if needed.
What to Do Once You’ve Chosen Your Healthcare POA
Discuss Your Wishes in Detail
It’s time to talk. Sit down with your chosen HPOA and have the difficult conversations. They don’t all have to happen in once, but get started and pick it up again until you’re sure they know exactly what you want. You’ll talk through everything you understand about your medical condition and give them clear guidance on your medical treatment preferences, end-of-life care decisions, and any specific wishes and concerns you have.
Complete the Legal Paperwork
A verbal agreement is not enough. Complete the necessary advance care planning documents, such as a healthcare power of attorney form or living will. These documents ensure that your HPOA has the legal authority to make decisions on your behalf. Without these legal documents, your wishes may not be carried out as you desire.
Share Your Decision With Your Care Team
Inform your primary care physician, your medical care team, and your family members about your choice. This step helps prevent confusion during a medical emergency and ensures everyone is on the same page with who will be making the decisions and that they will be representing your wishes.
Need Help With Advance Care Planning?
Choosing a healthcare power of attorney is an essential part of planning for your future medical care. It is never too soon to get started. If you want someone to help facilitate the conversations and ensure your HPOA is prepared for the task, I can help. I can help you both fully understand your medication condition, organize your paperwork, and talk through your end-of-life wishes. Contact me today to ensure your healthcare decisions are in the right hands.
Note: Always consult with your healthcare provider before making changes to your health management approach.
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Dr. Kelly Carter, MD, FACEP, BCPA is a Board Certified Patient Advocate as well as a board certified Emergency Physician with over 20 years of experience in the ER. She helps patients navigate complex medical conditions and healthcare decisions through AlignedCare Advocacy.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of your physician or other qualified health professional for any questions you may have regarding your health.
